Gwyneth Paltrow goes topless, wears fishnets for Vanity Fair: Goopy or cute?

June 2024 · 2 minute read

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Fishsticks in fishnets! Sorry, I just had to jack Michael K’s moniker for Dame Gwyneth Paltrow. This fishy fishnets photo is from Vanity Fair’s “jewelry supplement” for the August issue – the one with Emma Stone on the cover, with Emma making fun of Goopy’s BFF and business partner Tracy Anderson! That alone is delicious, but this photo kind of makes my day too – look how slim Goopy is! Look how she doesn’t have any peasanty stretch marks or any peasanty flaws! I’m not even sure if we’re actually looking at her fishnet-covered biscuit… is she wearing a thong? I can’t tell. But the best part about the shot is the look of veiled contempt on Goopy’s face. She’s all “Fine. I’ll show you how hot I am, because I know you need an aspirational goal. Fatties.” All of the jewelry that she’s wearing is Louis Vuitton, by the way. Just like she wore at the Oscars this year (and she got paid handsomely for it).

Meanwhile, Gwyneth just released this week’s Goop-letter, and it’s a decent one. This week, Goop talks about “stress”. You know, the stress of having to use your outdoor, wood-burning oven to cook cavier-and-gold-crusted chicken for Paul McCartney and Vladimir Putin. But Goop has a solution – meditation!

I have never been very good at handling stress (though a bit of meditation helps), and I wanted some very practical ways of reducing it that I could use during the course of my day. I got some good answers that don’t require a 90 minute yoga class, or flying to a hippie style silent retreat (I’ve actually done one—don’t ask), just simple things that we all have access to. Here they are!

Love,
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[From GOOP]

You can read the whole thing here – I just skimmed it. Some of the advice is straightforward – a hot bath, a glass of wine, acupuncture, etc. Meh.

Here are some recent pics of Gwyneth out to dinner with the guy who runs Topshop. Now people think that she’s going to be starting her own Topshop Goop line. Why not?

UPDATE: Ah, so the guy in the photo isn’t Sir Philip Green. But the photos are still from the same evening where she did dine with Green.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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